Sometimes, despite knowing better about a situation, you cannot help but feel anxious, which is hard to overcome. The best approach to deal with this uncertainty that comes with anxiety is to seek help.
You can do it by different practices, such as the psychodynamic triangle. We will be talking about this exercise in this psychology self help podcast. Now, in any case, this is not a perfect cure or will ultimately help you out, but it’s a step towards becoming better.
Overcoming Anxiety by Psychodynamic Triangle
So the top of the triangle deals with the present situation. This is usually characterized by chronic anxiety and its symptoms. First, however, it is essential to peel back the layers and understand where these anxiety triggers come from. It may be rooted in the possibility of trying to plan out your life, but some factors don’t allow you to do so, leading to frustration and overcompensating yourself.
This is where the podcast mentions anhedonia, the lack of pleasure in your daily life. To deal with this situation, you write on the right side of the triangle about why and what you feel at the beginning. And moving on to the left side, reflect on the other times you felt similar, specifically in your childhood.
For instance, you might think of a situation in which you’ve been feeling “off” and “not like yourself.” Narrow it down to the situations in which you feel unlike yourself. For instance you might go to a coffee shop or social gathering and feel off.
Once you recognize the situation, you would write that at the top of the triangle. Then on the right side of the triangle, you would write the key emotion words that come up when you’re in that situation. Perhaps, there are feelings of “loneliness” “insecurity” “sadness” “regret” etc.
On the left side of the triangle you think of different times throughout your entire life in which you have felt lonely, insecure, sad, regret? As you make connections, you might realize, “Oh, there is something about being in a group in which I feel alone even though I am around people” or perhaps, maybe there are couples around that remind you of a past relationship and your internal world may be going through the feelings of loss, grief, and regret at how something in the past ended. It would be helpful to write that past situation on the left side.
Below the triangle, you start to unpack the buried grief that needs to be acknowledged, honored, and validated. Now, you can start to make progress in unearthing and starting the process to resolve the unconscious dynamics producing the feelings.
Explanation through Example
The podcast mentions an excellent example. Some men may think that classically if their wife doesn’t say anything about their work schedule or how they schedule things, then she is fine. Because no one is a mind-reader, many spouses think that if their partner isn’t saying anything, then they are fine and there is no problem. Even the most loving husband may not realize that his approach to time-management, although it may work for him, may be nerve-wracking for his wife.
It is not a character flaw that he has not considered his wife in his scheduling. Rather, a growing pain of different personalities learning how to develop a singular rhythm amidst their respectives approaches to life and planning.
When couples have not engaged in positive couples counseling to learn one another’s strengths, we don’t know one another’s approaches, needs, or preferences. Rather, we tend to personalize “you’re doing that because you don’t love/respect me…” This is a thinking error common in many couples. The psychodynamic triangle can help us catch our thinking errors.
Workings of the Psychodynamic Triangle
It is essential to step back and ask the other person how they handle the situation. This teaches you and the other to be open about their feelings and have a conscious conversation like mature people in overcoming anxiety and other relationship issues. This can be done by working through the left side of the psychodynamic triangle, the original situations that produced the trigger emotions/thoughts.
How Does this Strategy Help?
We learn to proactively acknowledge the emotions that we are feeling during a situation so that they do not overwhelm us and cause us to explode/lash out in anger, or implode and turn your heart off.
In this mental health self help podcast episode you will learn how to gain a corrective experience. There are brilliant ways to restore a deeper connection by going through the psychodynamic journey together. This allows you to have a mindful, selfless service to each other in any dynamic of relationships for opportunities to grow and in overcoming anxiety. Seeing a psychodynamic therapist at Crawford Clinics you’ll find proactive ways to deepen your conversion, connection, and resolve your anxiety triggers so you can enjoy your relationship with one another.
Break Out of Anxiety
Take a minute to recognize that you are not in control of the outside world, and then let go of all negative ideas. Anxiety is about the illusion of power; when we are anxious, we exhaust ourselves and do not actually resolve the unknowns of the future. Rather than spinning your wheels trying to micromanage your surroundings, the future, and your loved ones, it is wise to learn coping skills for anxiety so you can resolve the underlying dynamics internally. Thereby resolving the root needs so you no longer feel the compulsion to be in control. Trust me, your loved ones will appreciate the release of anxiety and control in and around you, and, in and around the relationship.
In this series of Unlock U Podcasts, we will talk about depression and ways of overcoming anxiety, and strategies to grow professionally and in your leadership. Until then, write a thank you letter to yourself and also to the people around you in order to develop trust and vulnerability.
Wrap Up
Sometimes, despite knowing better about a situation, you cannot help but feel anxious. The best approach to deal with this uncertainty that comes with anxiety is to seek help. You can do it by different practices, such as the psychodynamic triangle. This allows one to acknowledge the emotions that the person may feel during a situation so that they do not go to extreme measures of either lashing out or bottling it up.
Contact us here for self-help therapy in Texas and self-help coaching in Dallas at Crawford Clinics.
Listen full podcast here: Uprooting Anxiety Pt4
