Understanding Catastrophizing
Every human has a different story, different life experiences, and different go-to coping mechanisms that we use to help us feel better. When flooded, some of us zone out in front of social media/tv, some of us comfort eat, and some of us try to stay busy to not feel. Many of us don’t even realize we have anxiety because we “stay prepared” by thinking of all the bad things that could happen in an attempt to ensure we are safe because we’ve got a plan! The unconscious belief is that if I plan for every bad outcome, then I am in control; if I am in control, nothing bad can happen to me. As long as we are “in control”, we don’t feel anxious. In fact, we feel confident as long as we perceive having control. It is only when we realize that we are not actually in control that the anxiety and panic attacks flood us. How do you know if you are catastrophizing? Catastrophizing is when the brain thinks of all the worst-case scenarios so you can be prepared for any bad outcome that could affect you and your loved ones. These thoughts are reassuring for someone carrying anxiety because it provides the illusion of control. Emphasis on illusion. You may feel in control of the situation because you’ve thought of every possible outcome, yet catastrophizing is categorized as a thinking error for several reasons.
- Catastrophizing only considers the worst-case scenarios meaning you are placing your body in a chronic state of stress. depleting your neurochemical and hormone reserves. By ruminating on all the worst-case scenarios, your body is releasing the stress and adrenaline needed for that outcome right now as if you are living through that stressor in the present. You may feel prepared, yet if/when something bad actually happens, you’ve been depleting your reserves for so long that you immediately go into burnout the moment the event happens because you have not been replenishing your good chemistry through peaceful gratitude and mindfulness.
- Catastrophizing makes us susceptible to creating self-fulfilling prophecies. There’s an old proverb that accurately says, as you think in your heart, so are you. What you anticipate will happen will set a chain of events that are more likely to produce the outcome you predict. Without realizing it, once we believe something is possible, then, as an unconscious protection response, we act in situations and toward ourselves and others as if that outcome is, in fact, reality. This sets us up for “proving” ourselves right. For instance, I’ve seen many people predict that others will reject them, so they don’t look up to or acknowledge others. Not realising their own bias going into a situation caused them to appear unfriendly, which caused others to respond less friendly toward them. When we fill our minds with the worst-case scenarios, we create knee-jerk reactions in ourselves that serve to help that reality come to pass.
- Catastrophizing has a law of attraction. Not only do we do things that initiate the outcomes we predict, but there is also a proverb that the very thing we fear comes upon us. What you think about has energy. What you meditate on has a spiritual dimension in that your thoughts draw more of the same type of energy. I have seen clients who constantly anticipate bad things and bad things constantly happen to them that are outside of their control. I have seen the same people start to change the meditation of their hearts, from fear to faith, and we watch the circumstances around them start to align with their beliefs of strength and resilience.
- Catastrophizing creates neural pathways. Catastrophizing is a type of learning. What you think about creates neural pathways. Neural pathways are the superhighways your brain uses to automatically respond to situations in the future. What you imagine creates the modeling of how you will respond in the future. Sports psychologists are paid crazy amounts of money to take professional athletes through visualization exercises. The first step to becoming successful is to STOP visualizing the worst outcome because that creates a pathway upon which your brain will automatically respond at the moment. The second step is to START visualizing the reality of the obstacles coming toward you, but you respond with agility, grace, peace, clarity, and supernatural strength.
- Catastrophizing puts a period at the end of the negative outcome. Think of a scary movie, and you stop the film right as the bad guy is about to capture the victim. Catastrophizing is like looping the film at that scariest part; stopping and rewatching the scene – as an unconscious attempt to prevent – what the unconscious mind believes to be – the inevitable. Anxiety is notorious for getting you to pause the film at the climax without giving a resolution. Your soul needs confidence that you are going to be okay. We do not pretend that bad things won’t happen. Life rains on the just and on the unjust, meaning good and bad things will happen to everyone; there is no getting around that. However, life continues after the hard moments. If you look back at your hardest/most challenging/scariest moments – while it felt like time stood still – in reality, life did get better and things, while they changed, often – in retrospect – you can see improvements. Catastrophizing gets us to stop the movie, while a resilience mindset gets us to play the movie through to the end. We all need closure, and we need hope that things – although they may change – will get better.
- Catastrophizing makes us controlling. It is glaringly obvious when someone else is controlling. Rarely, if ever, do we recognize when we are being controlled. We all see ourselves as “being prepared”, “helpful”, “thoughtful”, “concerned”, “worried”, “loving”, etc. We justify our overreach into others’ lives by focusing on our intent. “I give advice because I care, you should be thankful that at least I say something, because no one was checking on me when I was growing up.” “I do these things because I am worried about you.” “Oh, you know me, I’m just being a worry wart…” While the heart’s intent is beautiful and caring when motivated by fear/catastrophizing, our good efforts are lost in translation as the person “we are trying to love” feels smothered, controlled, micromanaged etc. *Be aware of what is motivating you. Are you motivated by fear/worry and trying to prevent bad things from happening to your loved one? If so, you are likely coming across more intensely than you realize and may accidentally be smothering the person. If your motive is, I love you, I trust you, I believe in you, and I am here to offer support and guidance when requested, then you are likely offering scaffolding that empowers your loved one. This feels like an investment to them and strengthens your relationship with them. On the other hand, catastrophizing sends the implied message that I don’t think you’re capable of thinking/planning for yourself, so I need to remind your multiple times or just go ahead and do it for you. The latter is demotivating and demoralizing to the recipient. Remember, even if your heart and intention are good, when you are motivated by fear/catastrophizing, your loved ones are likely feeling controlled, and this is likely to strain the relationship.
How to Stop Catastrophizing?
If you are realizing you may be getting into the ruts of catastrophizing, no worries! We’ve all been there! Now that we know, we are responsible to grow so we don’t stay there!
- The antidote to anxiety is not catastrophizing – because fear feeds fear. The anecdote is about love. Love is the reassurance that you are not alone. You have love and support around you that will help you when life/events/relationships become too much. When you focus on love and security, you can reassure your soul that you will have the support you need. You can’t worry about tomorrow. You only have the capacity to focus on today and to make today the best day possible. This is where having a secure attachment relationship is vital. Many people will visualize Aslan the Lion, or a kind-eyed man with a servant’s heart who wants to be there for you. Some people visualize a grandparent, a coach, or someone who has been kind, consistent and supportive.
- Learn to play the movie of your life forward. Don’t allow anxiety to keep you looping on the worst-case scenario. Be realistic; good and bad things will happen to you and your loved ones. We cannot prevent everything. But we can learn how to be mindful and present at the moment. We can learn to accept that which we’ve tried to deny/control. The more we learn to surrender to the reality that good and bad are going to happen and that we can look for the growth that comes amidst challenges, the more secure we will feel that our loved ones and we will be able to handle whatever comes.
- Turn off the fortune-telling part of your brain that is trying to anticipate the future. Fortune telling is a defense mechanism. Learn to de-escalate your anxiety response through deep breathing and drawing your mind back to the present as you remind yourself you cannot predict the future (nor do you want to while in your anxious brain! Yikes, that’s a scary horror film scenario that always makes the future way grimmer then it actually is.
- Close your eyes and clear your mind to draw your awareness to the present. Take rhythmic deep breaths, visualizing breathing in love and exhaling fear. *Perfect love casts out fear. Fear is a dark energy that is like a cloud covering your heart. Love is light, a bright warm light, that liberates your heart from the grip of fear. Visualize being in a safe place. Many people visualize walking into a green meadow with a stream of living water and an invisible forcefield around them, and warm sunlight washing over their cheeks as they listen to the leaves dancing in the breeze.
- Write the concerns. Now write a realistic plan. We can plan wisely with discernment. We plan for the good and the bad. Invest in your future as if you’ll live 100 years and plan realistically for the ups and downs that are normal in all businesses, economies, and relationships without forecasting that the bumps in the road mean that the sky is falling. Many grow their business during the recession. Many can deepen their relational intimacy during times of conflict as long as they lean toward their partner rather than catastrophizing, which causes us to create the very thing we feared.
- You are not a victim of your thoughts. *Choose your thoughts. Going forward, you’ll need to consistently take your thoughts captive. You are responsible for what you focus on. Picture your mind like it has 2 movie screens. On the movie screen straight ahead of you, you see a future in which there is hope and a future. While on the other screen, to your left, is playing a horror film full of all the catastrophes of impending doom over your future. These two movie screens are vying for your attention. Whatever you allow your mind to meditate on will affect your mood, your perception of reality, and your neurochemical levels. Because every thought releases neurochemicals now as if you are actually living through that future film NOW. By repeatedly choosing the hopeful film, you are disciplining your mind to pull away from the grip of fear, to focus on the hope and favorable outcome that is planned for you.
- Choose the right team. We are social creatures, and we are not meant to isolate ourselves. Fear causes us to want to pull away and self-protect. Giving into fear and isolation actually makes you far more vulnerable to negative outcomes. Research consistently shows that those with a healthy network of community, friends, church family, and therapists have higher outcomes than those who are alone and have no one to rely on when bad things happen. The best thing you can do to wisely prepare for the future is to invest in meaningful relationships now. Cultivate your healthy friendships and family relationships. Work toward repairing and forgiving for the offences of the past instead of staying stuck in old grudges that keep you prideful but alone. Engage in a small group in your faith community so you can get plugged in with people who have similar interests to build a network of friends. Find the right therapist before the storms of life hit. That way, when struggles come up, for you personally or for your relationship, you already have a safe person you know you can trust. Most people wait until the wheels of their lives fall off the bus before calling to schedule a therapy appointment. By doing so, they are starting at square one, needing to find someone while amidst a major crisis. You’ll most frequently be placed on a waiting list because many therapists are booking months out in advance for individual and couples sessions. Forego catastrophizing and make a plan to choose the team you want around you when life’s storms hit, and you’ll find that you get through them much easier when you are surrounded by love and support from people who genuinely care about you.
This self help podcast is about Uprooting anxiety, and focuses on the inner infrastructure of human psychology. In this series of Unlock U Podcasts, we will talk about depression, uprooting anxiety, and much more stuff to help you grow. Until then, write a thank you letter to yourself and the people around you and develop trust and vulnerability.
Final Thoughts
Watch the full podcast on the link below to better understand the concept of anxiety. In this podcast, Dr Crawford talks about the inner infrastructure of human psychology, followed by the difference between anxiety and depression. The term catastrophizing is also briefly discussed. Contact us here for self-help therapy in Texas and self-help coaching in Dallas.